Welcoming Baby Home: A Glimpse into a Newborn’s First Days
Bringing a baby home from the hospital can be an overwhelming experience for many families. I've had the privilege of spending several first nights with parents, witnessing their joy and excitement, intertwined with the realization of, "Oh my goodness, I have a baby!" It's incredibly rewarding to help parents feel more at ease during that initial night together. I’d like to share a glimpse of what a baby’s first day and night at home might look like, highlighting the beautiful moments to anticipate. The experience for first-time parents will naturally differ from those who already have children at home, so I’ll present two examples to illustrate this contrast.
As I recall my own first day home, I remember the whirlwind of emotions after the excitement of settling in. I took a moment to sit down and thought, "Oh my gosh, what do I do now?" Just remember to take it hour by hour. That's why I’ve laid out a timeline of what to expect, hour by hour, to help ease your way through this remarkable transition.
Heading home to children who are patiently waiting for you there.
3 PM: You arrive home, and the first order of business is introducing the new baby to siblings and pets. Everyone will be eager for their moment to bond!
4 PM: By now, the baby is undoubtedly hungry, so it's time for a meal.
5 PM: Parent A and the baby are taking a nap, while Parent B either entertains the other kids or tidies up the hospital supplies. Parent A will certainly need a bathroom station stocked with pads, sprays, lotions, and anything else they might need, organized into a handy bathroom basket for easy access.
6 PM: The baby is ready to eat again, and everyone else will be too. Parent B can either order food or whip up a meal while Parent A feeds the baby. (I say whip up a meal, and as I write it, I laugh; we all know this is going to be much easier said than done. Do not forget this is day one, it will get easier, but sometimes it will be a shitshow. I love meal planning via Kids-Eat-In-Color, or even Hello Fresh, which is wonderful for new parents.)
7 PM: Everyone gathers for dinner while the baby peacefully sleeps.
8 PM: It's likely bedtime for the other kids, so Parent B will start giving baths while Parent A wakes the baby for a feed.
9 PM: With the baby and the kids all asleep, the parents can finally relax and enjoy some time together, catching up on a show and snacking.
10 PM: It's time to feed the baby again and prepare for bed.
10:30 PM: As you go to change the baby’s diaper, things take a turn when the baby unexpectedly pees all over everyone, resulting in a needed cleanup for the whole crew.
11 PM: Once everyone’s sorted out and happy, the baby drifts off, and the parents settle in for the night as well.
1 AM: The baby’s cries break the night’s quiet, signaling it’s time for a feeding. This could take around 40 minutes, as everyone gets back into the swing of things, but it should get easier with time.
1:40 AM: Finally, everyone is back to sleep.
4 AM: The alarm you set goes off, reminding you to wake the baby for a feeding every 2 or 3 hours as advised by your doctor. Waking the little one proves challenging, requiring a cold rag and some lights to coax them awake.
5:15 AM: After quite the ordeal, everyone is fed and back to snoozing.
6:20 AM: One of the other kids wakes you, and Parent B takes charge while Parent A and the baby continue to catch some Z's.
7 AM: The baby stirs naturally, sending a signal that it’s feeding time.
7:30 AM: While the baby sleeps graciously on Parent A, everyone else digs into breakfast. Meanwhile, Parent B manages the other kids, sending them off to school, daycare, or Grandma’s.
9 AM: The baby is ready to eat again, so Parent A takes the little one to the bedroom for another feeding. They both end up dozing off afterward.
9:30 AM: This quiet time allows Parent B to straighten up the house and sneak in a nap of their own.
11:30 AM: The baby wakes up hungry, signaling it’s time for a meal. After feeding, you take some time to play and chat with the baby, soaking in all those lovely newborn scents. You might hand the baby off to Parent B so they can bond while you sneak off for a shower and some well-deserved me-time.
Noon rolls around, and it’s time to either fix or order lunch, enjoying it together. Afterward, you could watch a show or catch another nap because rest is essential—don’t forget to hydrate!
1:30 PM: The baby is hungry again and it's time for another feed.
2:15 PM: The baby starts to fuss, seemingly hungry once more. You give them a top-off, and as they drift to sleep on you, you take the chance to scroll through your iPad.
3:25 PM: Grandma returns with the kids, or they start trickling in from school. They will need snacks and plenty of attention! If Parent A feels up to it, they can lounge on the couch, helping with homework while starting to feed the baby, ready to jump back into the whirlwind of the next 24-hour cycle.
First time home with your first baby!
At 3 PM, you arrive home, and the first task is to introduce your pets, if you have any. I gave my child a "home tour," as cheesy as it may sound. I was simply overjoyed to have her home; I couldn't wait to show her around. It's also a great idea to document this special day—take some pictures in the outfit you bring your child home in, and snap a photo of them in their crib or sleeping area. It's really fun to see how quickly they grow. Looking back at the photos from our first day home fills me with wonderful memories, and I can't believe my baby is now 11!
By 4 PM, I'm sure the baby is hungry, so it’s time for a meal.
At 5 PM, the baby and Parent A are napping while Parent B is either entertaining or walking the dog, or tidying up the hospital supplies. Parent A will likely need a bathroom station stocked with pads, sprays, lotions, and anything else they might need, all organized in a basket for easy access.
At 6 PM, the baby is ready to eat again, and parents need to refuel too. Parent B can either order food or whip up a quick meal while Parent A feeds the baby.
By 7 PM, everyone sits down for dinner while the baby sleeps peacefully. At 8 PM, Parent B can wake the baby for their next feeding, while Parent A gets everything ready. As Parent A feeds the baby, Parent B can top off their water cup—staying hydrated is crucial!
By 8:30 PM, the baby is fed and settling down, giving parents some time to relax together and enjoy a snack while watching a show.
At 10 PM, it’s time for the baby’s next feeding and getting ready for bed.
At 10:30 PM, you go to change the baby’s diaper, only to have them pee all over you! A quick cleanup is necessary for everyone involved.
By 11 PM, everything calms down, and the baby drifts off. You carefully lay them down before heading off to bed yourselves.
At 1 AM, the baby wakes up crying—it’s time for another feeding. This process might take around 40 minutes until everyone can settle back in, but with time, it'll get easier.
At 1:40 AM, the whole family is back asleep.
When the alarm goes off at 4 AM, it’s time to wake the baby again. Though it’s a hassle, it's essential to keep waking them every 2 to 3 hours until directed otherwise by your doctor. Waking the baby becomes an ordeal as you try cold rags and turn on the lights.
Finally, at 5:15 AM, everyone is fed and back to dreamland.
By 7 AM, the baby is waking up on their own, signaling it’s time to eat again.
At 7:30 AM, the baby is fed, and they fall back asleep, just like the parents.
At 9 AM, the baby is up and ready for another feed. While Parent A tends to the baby, Parent B grabs a shower, coffee, and breakfast.
At 10 AM, Parent B takes charge of the baby so that Parent A can enjoy a shower and some well-deserved alone time.
At 11:30 AM, the baby wakes up hungry, and it’s feeding time once more. After they’re satisfied, take a moment to chat and play with them—bask in all those delightful newborn smells. At noon, it’s time to make or order lunch and enjoy a meal together. Afterward, you might relax with a show or sneak in another nap; resting is key! And don’t forget to drink lots of water!
At 1:30 PM, the baby is hungry again, leading to another feeding.
By 2:15 PM, the baby is getting fussy and seems hungry once more. A little top-off does the trick, and they soon drift off in your arms, giving you a chance to scroll through your iPad and unwind.
Come 3:30 PM, the baby is stirring awake, ready to eat again. And just like that, the 24-hour cycle starts anew.
First weeks at home, tips and tricks.
Visitors
Discuss with your partner before your child is born and decide what the house visitation rules will be. Will you require visitors to bring a food item, or, if you have other children, could they take them out for the day to give you more time to bond with the new baby? There are so many possibilities, but make sure to establish rules and boundaries and inform the family. If you need a baseline, the hospital visitation hours and rules could be a great starting point to mimic at home for the first week.
Milk
Not everyone’s milk will come in right away. If your child is up screaming all night the first night home, chances are your milk is not fully in, and a bottle might be needed. This is the one night most families do use a bottle. I would say 90% of families I went to would give a bottle that first night home. By night time, the nursing parent is just wiped and needs sleep, and if the milk is not in all the way, your baby is not getting a full feed, and the night is a long bad cycle of crying on and off. Most hospitals will send you home with formula or premade bottles, and please do not feel guilty about using those. Again, 90% of families I have helped have used them the first night only, one serving only, and then never needed formula again for their whole feeding journey.
Be prepared to have a slow start
You are a superhuman! This is true, but even superhumans need rest, and you need rest right now. You need to heal, and listening to your body is going to help you heal faster. I knew when I had my child that for the first 30 days, I would not be leaving my house. I set myself up with that mindset before my child was born, and while I only had a 6-week maternity leave (which is horrible), I do feel like I made the most of it. I knew I would not be leaving the house because I personally have a very low pain tolerance. I knew I was going to need time. You know yourself best. Somedays, you will feel more motivated, and on those days, do what you think is best, just do not try to overdo it and land back in the hospital.
There’s really no better excuse to just chill in bed all day than after having a baby. Soak it all in! I know a lot of type-A parents want to jump back into their routine right away but trust me, this is a time for relaxed, easy-going days. You'll get back to your normal routine soon enough, so enjoy this slower pace while you can.
The first bath/shower for the baby/parents
Baby - Bathing your baby can be a wonderful bonding experience, but it’s important to ensure the water temperature is just right, ideally around 100 degrees Fahrenheit. A warm washcloth covering your child’s chest while you pour warm water over them can help soothe them during the bath. If your baby continues to cry, it may be due to the water temperature being too warm or too cool, or they might be uncomfortable due to a bowel movement or hunger. If bath time consistently results in tears, consider changing the time when you are bathing to see if it makes a difference. With the right approach, bath time can be enjoyable for both you and your little one.
Nursing parent - If your milk has come in, taking a hot shower is going to be a new experience. I remember the first time I got out of the shower, and milk was squirting all over my bathroom. I was very shocked, and no one had warned me about that. I learned to utilize the warm water, if my daughter did not want to nurse or was upset, we would get into the tub together, and instantly, she would nurse and calm down. It works for clogs as well. The shower was my best friend during my postpartum period.
The bottle station
Do you have a multi-story house, or is your kitchen far from your bedroom? If this is the case, I would make a bottle station close to where you will be nursing and pumping or feeding. You will need a mini fridge, and this is the base, on top, you make a station for clean bottles and a spot for dirty bottles, and this will save you and your partner countless trips to the kitchen. All pumping parts can be placed into a ziplock bag and into the fridge between pumps for safekeeping. No need to wash the pump and parts all day long.
Pets
I’m sorry to have to mention this, but your pet is likely to take a backseat almost immediately after you bring your baby home. I witness this every first night home shift, and it often breaks the parents' hearts. No one wants to confine their dog to the laundry room. As a doula, I always prioritize the pet because I know they receive the least attention during this transition. Parents often express their gratitude, saying, “You have no idea how guilty we feel,” and I remind them that I do understand, which is why I focus on the pets. They are family too, and it can be challenging for them to adjust to their new roles.
My best advice for managing this situation is to consider bringing your pet home later, if possible. Ask a friend or family member to care for them during your first week at home. Once you have a better idea of how things are going with the new baby, you can bring the pet back into the house. If necessary, consider hiring a dog walker to come twice a week until you find your routine again.
Alone time and household tasks
Your alone time will not be the same. If you are nursing the baby, you will feel like you have no time for yourself, and I hate to hear this from new parents. You need time for yourself. Let people help you, and when you need a break, ask for it. You deserve time to recover so you can be your best self.
Household chores and responsibilities may be delegated to other family members while the birthing parent is resting. They may not get done like they usually do, but if they get done at all, I would consider that a win! If there is a space you simply do not want to be touched by others, let it be known upfront. Such as maybe a china cabinet. That cabinet might collect dust for weeks, but if you would feel more comfortable that way, then let the dust be. You will have to pick your battles. A lot of families have told me before having a baby, they would have never asked for help to do their own laundry, but once the baby is born, they no longer care who did their laundry as long as it was done. Things like this will make your life so much easier. Let people help!
There is a project called Fair-Play. I highly recommend this to new parents. It is a great way to make sure all household tasks are being evenly divided and taken care of. Parent A, or the birthing parent, should not be the default parent, if two parents live in the home, two parents should be doing all the same tasks that they are capable of or agreed upon.
Nursing
If you are nursing, it’s a full-time job, and at times, you will get overwhelmed and feel like all you do is nurse. To make this experience better, make a nursing space. It can be in the nursery or your bedroom. Wherever you like. Have a cozy chair, your nursing pillows, chargers, snacks, crafts, music, and some calming lights. Anything to make the experience more special. If you want to pump in peace, let your partner know your pumping schedule and tell them upfront during these times, you’re not at all available.
If you ever start to hate pumping and nursing and really are not looking forward to it and are almost trying to avoid it. I would speak with your pediatrician. It is okay to need to supplement with formula for your mental health. We have these things for a reason, and I wish there was less judgment in doing what was best for your family. There is so much to be a new parent, and no one should be forcing a full-time job on themselves if they hate it. If you find the experience to be enjoyable, congratulations, I wish I could have found the experience to be enjoyable, alas, I hated it.
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