Understanding Your Baby's Sleep Struggles: Common Reasons and Solutions

Whoever coined the phrase “I’m going to sleep like a baby” clearly didn’t have a baby. Sleep and babies don’t exactly go hand in hand. Those first few days home from the hospital might seem wonderful, as the baby appears to sleep all day, but that blissful period is short-lived. In this blog, I’ll discuss the top three reasons I commonly see babies not sleeping.

1. The most frequent reasons for disturbances tend to be simple things like light and sound. Occasionally, a family will insist that it’s pitch dark and the sound machine is on, but when I arrive for my night shift, I often find the hallway lights on and the sound machine on a very low setting. 

• Light in a baby's eyes, even when closed, signals that it's time to wake up. When you're in your baby's sleeping space, extend your arm; you should barely be able to see your hand. This is the level of darkness that the sleeping area should maintain at all times. Even during night feeds, try to use red light or minimal lighting. If you find you need your baby to eat more efficiently, you can increase the lights. However, if your baby is an effective eater, keep the environment dark!

• Since it can be quite noisy in utero, having the sound machine set at the right volume can help prolong sleep. Sound machines should be as loud as it is when you take a shower. Imagine someone trying to talk to you outside the door while you are in the shower; you wouldn’t be able to hear them well. The sleeping space should mock that level!

  It's also crucial to invest in a high-quality sound machine. A cheap model that produces a crackling noise won't provide the soothing effect you’re after. I recommend the LectroFan; its white or brown noise settings work wonders for creating a peaceful sleep environment.

These timeframes are just averages. Every child is unique. If your child is taking naps and waking up happy while sleeping well at night, there’s no need to make any changes. However, if your child seems unhappy throughout the day and is not sleeping well during naps or at night, it may be necessary to make some adjustments.

2. The next most common reason is a baby that is over-tired or even under-tired. Keeping an eye on those awake windows is super important. A really useful tip is to track their sleep for about four days—just jot down the times they sleep and wake up. Then compare it to those average sleep times to see where things might be off. Awake windows help you guess how long your little one can hang out awake before needing a nap. If you notice they're staying awake way longer than the usual recommendation and not sleeping well during naps or nighttime, try adjusting their schedule for a few days. Maybe introduce a nap at the suggested time and see if that helps their sleep situation. You might just find a solution! Always try a new change for a solid 3 days before deciding if it worked or not.  

I will mention that short nappers, while rare, do exist. These are children who nap short all day BUT they sleep 10+ solid hours a night. Taking short naps all day and then waking up multiple times a night is NOT a short napper. 

With awake windows, you can either wait to see your child’s sleep cues, essentially allowing for a looser day, or you can schedule naps based on their awake windows and follow the same nap pattern daily. Either way, following healthy awake windows during the day is vital for a good night's sleep.

3. Finally, let’s talk about hunger. Once your child has reached their birth weight, you can start establishing a more regular feeding schedule. Initially, you'll be feeding them every two hours and then gradually extending that to every three hours and then to four.

The reasoning behind this is that if your baby is allowed to snack throughout the day, they’ll likely expect those little meals during the night as well. By spacing out feedings during the day, your baby’s stomach has a chance to prepare for a larger meal. With each substantial feeding, their stomach will gradually grow, allowing them to consume more food and, as a result, go longer between feeds. This is really helpful at night.

• Now, cluster feeding can be beneficial for various reasons, and it's perfectly normal to do it occasionally. However, it shouldn't become a regular routine.

• Additionally, if your child is experiencing any digestive issues, smaller, more frequent meals may be necessary. Always remember to prioritize the advice of your pediatrician in these situations. Sleep will eventually come, but for now, your child’s digestive issues are front and center. If you need help, reach out for night help through places like DoulaMatch.net or even Hellomeela.com. 

While the three issues mentioned are quite common when it comes to baby sleep, there are numerous other factors that can disrupt your little one’s sleep patterns. For instance, fluctuations in routine, developmental milestones, and even environmental changes can play a significant role. One particularly important aspect we haven’t touched upon yet is sleep associations, which can be a major contributor to various sleep difficulties. Understanding and addressing these associations often requires a tailored approach, as each child's needs are unique.

If you’re feeling concerned about a specific sleep association or if something just isn’t working for your baby's sleep, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to assist you in navigating through these challenges and to explore potential solutions that align with your family’s needs. Together, we can examine any unique hurdles you might be facing, ensuring that both you and your baby can experience restful and rejuvenating nights. Your comfort and your baby's sleep are of utmost importance, and I'm genuinely excited to support you on this journey toward better sleep for your entire family!

Read my blog about when to drop a nap!